Welcome to the real world.

(Here's a really old post that I never put up, but I am now because it still applies. Except that Cohen has been potty trained for over a year now and yet I find myself still changing diapers but for our third now.)

"What am I doing with my life?" This is something that I've asked myself a lot in the past few years. What I really mean by this question is what will I be when I grow up?. The funny thing is I came to a realization ... I am a grown up. At times in my life I have felt a great need to... well be great, or do something great. Once upon a time I was going to be a model, HA. Then another time I was going to be an actress, HA HA. Then I decided I was going to college and I was going into politics to be an ambassador. Then I worked for a politician. So I decided that I would be a sociologist and when people asked me what sociologists do I would fumble over my words and finally say "study sociology?". So then 2 semesters before graduating I switched my major to Psychology. AH HA. This was right. So I earned a piece of paper that says I know a lot about psychology, yay! So now what?
Everyday I wake up to change a poopy diaper, distribute breakfast rations and then proceed to do the things that day requires of my children, my husband and my house. Sometimes I play Bunco and very occasionally I win a prize. Sometimes I go to a Zumba class which I am in no way fantastic at. I go running 4 times a week. I do absurd amounts of laundry. Blah, blah blah, blah blah. You get the picture.
From reading this you might think that I am complaining but here's where you're wrong. I actually quite love my life. The other day as I was doing dishes I came to an epiphany. I love my extremely normal life. Is that weird? I love that I have a husband that pretends to be a bridge so that my kids can safely cross the pretend lava. I absolutely love that on rare occasions instead of screaming and flailing during poo diaper changes my son sits still and actually genuinely makes me laugh. I love that the other day my daughter saw a picture of Jesus Christ and said "That's Jesus, he died for me".

Playground fun

Last night we went to dinner with Cahlan's parents at Cafe Rio. It was delicious but so loud and since were were trying to talk we were practically yelling at each other so we decided to go to a park so the kids could play and we could talk.
We made our way to this school playground just up the road and we ended up playing as well. I realized a few things about myself as I reflected on the fun we had. First, I love swings and slides. Second, I realized that I keep myself too busy sometimes to enjoy things like playing at the park. It's kind of funny because I actually take my kids to the park quite often but it's more out of some parental obligation that I feel the need to do so.
Cahlan and I can sometimes get a little competitive when it comes to games, so of course we had a little competition on the swings to see who could launch off of them the farthest. He was better of course but it was a blast. Then we played in the monkey bars and the slides whith our babies and I remembered how much fun I had when I was little.
I watched my two kiddos for a minute and it dawned on me that I used to play with that much vigor and love for slides and swings. Now it seems as though all of the things that I think are fun involve spending money. I also realized that I always try to rush Emmy and Cohen with their playtime, and then sometimes get upset when Emmy's not quite ready to leave. Last night I wanted to stay longer but felt forced to leave since it was already bed time.
Anyways I just hope that in the future I can better understand my children's desire be kids. I hope that I can nurture that innocence and energy that they have and maybe even learn to retrogress a little bit bit sometimes.

So sad...

WARNING: This is a really sad and kind of depressing post so if you're looking for something happy, read a different post. Sorry
I just watched a video on You tube about an infant that was killed by her parents about 5 years ago. I don't actually know how old she was when she was killed but she was very small. I won't go into detail because it was so brutal and heartbreaking that I don't want to discuss it right now. It was heart breaking. It made me angry at the parents for the horrible things they were capable of and it made me so sad for the horrible days that that sweet baby must have had to endure. I look at my children and can't imagine felling anything but love for you own baby. I honestly just don't understand it. I am grateful at least that she didn't have to grow up spending her whole life under those circumstances. But it kills me to think that someone is capable of what those people did.

I studied psychology in school and have always been fascinated by how the mind works. But no research or study will ever help me to understand what kind of psychological defect it takes to be capable of something so inhumane. I know this is starting to sound depressing it's because it is. Sorry. But I am grateful to know that there is no earthly punishment that compare to the justice that those people will receive when they leave this life.

The reason I can't listen to music in the car anymore.

105.7 KNRS

Shared via AddThis

NEW BLOG!!!

I decided to start this blog so that I have a place to spill my thoughts. I want to keep MySharpFamily as my family blog and use this as my sort of on-line journal. I would also like to use this blog to talk about things I've been learning. I love learning about new things and so I don't forget I plan on keeping my thoughts in here. It might not be interesting to some, or even anyone, but I think it'll be good for me. So here it goes....